I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGANContraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






