Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGANContraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN