“My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”

Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

A lot of learning can be a little thing.

If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.

If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.

There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.

Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.

If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.

God made night, But man made darkness.

I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

I told you I was sick.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

I’d love to romance Aishwarya Rai. But I’m 58 now. So I have to play her father.

Being a father has been, my greatest source of pride, humility, inspiration & even achievement. It has taught me to choose innocent honesty over smarts.

Authentic men aren’t afraid to show affection, release their feelings, hug their children, cry when they’re sad, admit it when they’re wrong, and ask for help when they need it.

My dad used to tell me ‘opinions are like assholes, everybody has one’

The task is simple. We will organize children and teach them in a perfect way the things their fathers and mothers are doing in an imperfect way.

All are brothers and sisters. All are one, be alike to every­one. That is Unity the brotherhood of man and the fatherhood of God.

Fathers should endeavor to prove that good men still exist by teaching their daughters how a woman should be treated through leading by example.