If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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In the human race today, you came last.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN