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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

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Father Funny Himself Influence Mad

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Death Himself Man
In the human race today, you came last.
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Human Race Yourself
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Country Enough Fools Funny People Politics Time Yourself
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Evidence Friendship Hands Myself
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Blessing Deep Hard Time Light Perspective Philosophy
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Sea Sick Tree
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Rain Sky
A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Knowledge Learning One Liner Wisdom
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Class Expectation Morning Yourself
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Farm Hands Himself Wife
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Food Invention Reason
I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Identity Myself One Liner Thinking
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Funny Planning Preparation Wrong
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Occasion Protection
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Appearance Funny Myself Time
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Born Death Myself People

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