No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX