Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARXWe’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX