The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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All geniuses die young.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX