Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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All geniuses die young.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX