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There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.

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Failure Formula Guarantee Please Try

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A fool and his money are soon elected.
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There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
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You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
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Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
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I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
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Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
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I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
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Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
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You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
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