All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
WILL ROGERSThere is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
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The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
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Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
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Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
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When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
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If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
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There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
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It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS