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There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.

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Failure Formula Guarantee Please Try

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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
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People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
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Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
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I never met a man I didn’t like.
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Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
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People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
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The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
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If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
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No man is great if he thinks he is.
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Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.
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Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
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The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
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You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
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