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Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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Chance Insult One Liner Shut Up

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS

Change Comedy People Politics Serious
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
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Account Democracy Government Nation People
Always drink upstream from the herd.
WILL ROGERS

Drink Funny Leadership
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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Death Grandfather Peace Scream Sleep
There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
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Failure Formula Guarantee Please Try
No man is great if he thinks he is.
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Greatness Man One Liner
People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
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Argument Change Mind Observation People
Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.
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Inspirational Life Serious Work Hard
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.
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Politics Reason Vote
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
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Chance Impression Inspirational Life
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
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Farmer Optimistic
Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
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Government Pay Thankful
I never met a man I didn’t like.
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Man Meet never One Liner
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
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Ashame Gossip Live Parrot Sell
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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Fact Government Joke Report Watch
It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
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Business Cost Count Man Pay

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