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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS

Fact Government Joke Report Watch
The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
WILL ROGERS

Man Mistake never Tired
Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
WILL ROGERS

Life Live Serve Work
It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
WILL ROGERS

Awful Corruption Interest People
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
WILL ROGERS

Fly People Rage
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
WILL ROGERS

Community Ideas Prohibition Work
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
WILL ROGERS

Funny Humor Theory Woman
An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
WILL ROGERS

Cry Laugh Onion People Vegetable
There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
WILL ROGERS

Government Match Men Play
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
WILL ROGERS

Finding Life Rush Save Time
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
WILL ROGERS

Birthday Experience Old Wait Worth
It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS

Business Cost Count Man Pay
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Earn Human Nature Impress Money People
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
WILL ROGERS

Dog Politics Reason
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
WILL ROGERS

Death Difference Government Meet Tax Time
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
WILL ROGERS

Association Learning Man People Reading Smart

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