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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

Will Rogers

You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS

Advance Civilization Kill War
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
WILL ROGERS

Country Job Morning President
There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
WILL ROGERS

Failure Formula Guarantee Please Try
We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
WILL ROGERS

Applaud Hero Sit
Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.
WILL ROGERS

Inspirational Life Serious Work Hard
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
WILL ROGERS

Experience Happen Hard Time Inspirational
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
WILL ROGERS

Account Democracy Government Nation People
Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
WILL ROGERS

Chair Deserve Funny High Five Face People
Always drink upstream from the herd.
WILL ROGERS

Drink Funny Leadership
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
WILL ROGERS

Blow Carry Far Horn Sound
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
WILL ROGERS

Election Man Politics Unfortunate
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
WILL ROGERS

Funny Humor Theory Woman
Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS

Inspirational Right Sit Track
An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
WILL ROGERS

Cry Laugh Onion People Vegetable
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS

Funny Happen Hard Time Tragedy
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS

Change Comedy People Politics Serious

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

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Popular Authors

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