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If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.

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Die Dog Heaven Want

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Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
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Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
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An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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Common sense ain’t common.
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Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
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The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
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The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
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Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
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People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
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Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
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It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
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