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If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.

Will Rogers

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS

Joke Pratical Trouble
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
WILL ROGERS

Ignorance Newspaper Reading
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Earn Human Nature Impress Money People
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS

Art Diplomacy Finding Rock
We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
WILL ROGERS

Applaud Hero Sit
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
WILL ROGERS

Blow Carry Far Horn Sound
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS

Country Office Politics
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
WILL ROGERS

Fight Ignorant Quick
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
WILL ROGERS

Learning Men Observation Reading Stupidity
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
WILL ROGERS

Chance Impression Inspirational Life
It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
WILL ROGERS

Philosophy Trouble
The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
WILL ROGERS

Admit Observe Party Politics Worse
Common sense ain’t common.
WILL ROGERS

Common Sense Funny One Liner
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
WILL ROGERS

Funny Humor Theory Woman
People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
WILL ROGERS

Argument Change Mind Observation People
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
WILL ROGERS

Break Hear Horse People Smart

If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.

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If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.

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