Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDSI never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS -
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
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If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS -
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
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I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS