W. C. Fields on religious
W. C. Fields96 quotes“I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.”
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More from W. C. Fields
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields
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More on religious
Start seeing everything as God, But keep it a secret.
HafezHafez Start seeing everything as God, But keep it a secret.
HafezHafez Christ came from God and a woman. Man had nothing to do with him.
Sojourner TruthSojourner Truth Christ came from God and a woman. Man had nothing to do with him.
Sojourner TruthSojourner Truth Christ came from God and a woman. Man had nothing to do with him.
Sojourner TruthSojourner Truth Whatever is not done by the permission of Allah will not happen, and what is not done for the sake of Allah will not benefit or remain.
Ibn TaymiyyahIbn Taymiyyah Whatever is not done by the permission of Allah will not happen, and what is not done for the sake of Allah will not benefit or remain.
Ibn TaymiyyahIbn Taymiyyah Whatever is not done by the permission of Allah will not happen, and what is not done for the sake of Allah will not benefit or remain.
Ibn TaymiyyahIbn Taymiyyah