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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

W. C. Fields

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

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