black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

W. C. Fields

My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes