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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

W. C. Fields

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

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