A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDSThe world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
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I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
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Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
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Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS