The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDSThe laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDSComedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDSIt ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDSI must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDSYou can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDSI personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDSA rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDSI always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDSWhen life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDSI’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDSAnyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDSI spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDSEverybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDSI don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDSIt is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDSI have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS