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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

W. C. Fields

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

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