It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDSI don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS -
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS -
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS -
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS -
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS -
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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I drink therefore I am.
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You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS