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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.

W. C. Fields

I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself

I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.

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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.

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