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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

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