black
grey
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

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