black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields

Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

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