When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDSStart every day off with a smile and get it over with.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
-
-
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS -
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS -
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS -
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS -
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS -
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS -
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS -
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS -
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS -
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS -
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS -
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS