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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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I drink therefore I am.
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Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
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Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
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If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
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Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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Alcohol Illusion Reality
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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Face Man Time
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
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