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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
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Habit Mad Myself Weird
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
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Children Myself Woman
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
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Death Necessary Sex Yourself
I drink therefore I am.
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Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Myself Religion Time
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Drive Grateful Myself Reason
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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