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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

W. C. Fields

I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

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Popular Authors

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