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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

W. C. Fields

Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

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