I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDSI have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS -
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS -
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS -
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS -
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS -
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS -
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS -
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS -
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS -
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS -
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS -
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS