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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

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Myself Religion Time

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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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You can’t cheat an honest man.
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Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
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I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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