black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

W. C. Fields

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes