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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

W. C. Fields

When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

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