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All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.

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Believe Funny Hands Myself Science Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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Listening Mistake Yourself
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Car Funny Yourself
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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Animal Funny Herself Laughter Milk
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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Distance Time Walk Yourself
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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Memories Photograph Yourself
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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Abandonment Book Build Funny Myself Ocean Yourself
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
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Age Anxiety Funny Myself Time
My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
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Better Doctor Myself Pay Right Work Yourself
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Deep Funny Live Nature Ocean
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Buy Fame Friendship Herself Popular Toy
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Future One Liner Planning
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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Darkness Device Myself
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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Funny Herself Myself Night Time Walk
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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Animal Evolution Monkey Science
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
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Children Deep Difference Growth Learning Old Philosophy See Teaching Yourself
The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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Bed Funny Hell Home Myself Nature Night Stars Wonder

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