If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
STEVEN WRIGHTDepression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
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Clones are people two.
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My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
STEVEN WRIGHT