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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

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Inspirational Motivational Struggle Way Wrong Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Alphabet Order Song
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Literature Word
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Listening Mistake Yourself
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Friendship Gift Myself Sex
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Children Deep Difference Growth Learning Old Philosophy See Teaching Yourself
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Crime Man Office Photograph Writing
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Country Funny Nation People
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Buy Fame Friendship Herself Popular Toy
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Herself Myself Night Time Walk
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Discipline Funny Himself Person Time
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Kill Learning Love Myself Time
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Bacteria Culture People
Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Animal Flavor Food Funny
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Goodness Myself Oneself Worth
$Steven Wright Quote - Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.$

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Mathematics People Trouble
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Day Life Yourself

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