Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Clones are people two.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
STEVEN WRIGHT






