I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGANA bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGAN