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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.

Spike Milligan

It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Himself Marriage Perfection
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Sea Sick Tree
If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Eat Hungry Myself
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Coward Hero Legs Myself
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Escape Eyes Loud Silence Work Yourself
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Occasion Protection
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Animal Worth
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Life Sick
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Far Laughter Live Time
Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Form Happiness Misery Money Yourself
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself Pain Stand Wake Up
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Myself Plant Return
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Planning Preparation Wrong
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Rain Sky
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Class Expectation Morning Yourself
To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Hope Myself Sing Yourself

A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.

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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.

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