Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGANBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGANAristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGANA bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGANAustralia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
SPIKE MILLIGANI have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGANA lot of learning can be a little thing.
SPIKE MILLIGANIts all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGANNever return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGANI told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGANOnly on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGANI cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGANI can speak Esperanto like a native.
SPIKE MILLIGANMoney can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGANIn India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN