Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGANListen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGANIts all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGANThis silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGANIn India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGANMoney can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGANHow long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGANWe haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGANI can speak Esperanto like a native.
SPIKE MILLIGANI spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGANPolicemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGANRender any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGANBlessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGANAristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGANEducation isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGANYou can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
SPIKE MILLIGANAustralia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
SPIKE MILLIGAN