Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGANAll I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






