My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGANGod made night, But man made darkness.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
SPIKE MILLIGAN