I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGANGod made night, But man made darkness.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN