Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGANI have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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I told you I was sick.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN