If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGANI have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN