How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGANThere are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGAN