In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGANIn India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGANIts all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGANEducation isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGANAny man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGANGod made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGANIf a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGANPolicemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGANOnly on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGANAre you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGANA bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGANIt was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
SPIKE MILLIGANA lot of learning can be a little thing.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGANI cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGANBlessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGANAll I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN