Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGANThere are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN