Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGANIt was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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I told you I was sick.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN