Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGANIt was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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In the human race today, you came last.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
SPIKE MILLIGAN