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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t

Spike Milligan

Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Myself Plant Return
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Food Invention Reason
I’m Irish. We think sideways.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Identity Myself One Liner Thinking
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Life Sick
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Joke Laughter Myself Sing
Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Form Happiness Misery Money Yourself
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Country Enough Fools Funny People Politics Time Yourself
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Case Lost Number
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Animal Education Funny Start
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Rain Sky
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Animal Worth
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Escape Eyes Loud Silence Work Yourself
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Born Death Myself People
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Come Myself Quiet
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Occasion Protection
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Himself Marriage Perfection

It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t

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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t

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