I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGANIt was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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