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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t

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Funny Himself Marriage Perfection

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Occasion Protection
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Funny Planning Preparation Wrong
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Myself Pain Stand Wake Up
I told you I was sick.
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Myself One Liner Sick
To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Hope Myself Sing Yourself
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Age Body Myself Time
Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Funny Heart Love Nation Patriot Yourself
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Chance Happiness Money Myself
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Coward Hero Legs Myself
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Appearance Funny Myself Time
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Evidence Friendship Hands Myself
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Far Laughter Live Time
Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Form Happiness Misery Money Yourself
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Class Expectation Morning Yourself
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Age Confusion Father Myself Name

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