Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGANAnd God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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I told you I was sick.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGAN