Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGANAnd God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGAN






