I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGANWe were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






