Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGANWe were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGAN