Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGANWe were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






