If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGANAny man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN