My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGANIn the human race today, you came last.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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In the human race today, you came last.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGAN