Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGANIn the human race today, you came last.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
SPIKE MILLIGAN