Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGANIn the human race today, you came last.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGAN