Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGANIn the human race today, you came last.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGAN