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In the human race today, you came last.

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Human Race Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beautiful Eyes
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Death Myself Plant Return
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Country Enough Fools Funny People Politics Time Yourself
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Appearance Funny Myself Time
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Rain Sky
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Clothes Order Perfection Work
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Sea Sick Tree
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Evidence Friendship Hands Myself
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Death Himself Man
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Funny Planning Preparation Wrong
If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Death Eat Hungry Myself
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Joke Laughter Myself Sing
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Food Invention Reason
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Blessing Deep Hard Time Light Perspective Philosophy
Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Born Herself Home Mom Woman
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Age Body Myself Time

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