Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






