Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGAN