How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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I told you I was sick.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGAN