Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN