In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGANBlessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






