How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGANI can speak Esperanto like a native.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN