As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.
RON WHITEI’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
More Ron White Quotes
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
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I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
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I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
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I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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