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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.

Ron White

I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
RON WHITE

Daughter Face Guy Hold Left Limb Month Smile Talk Though
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
RON WHITE

Channel Country Different Get People Place Think Trouble
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
RON WHITE

Care Good Idea Laugh Live Make Money Much People
My goal is just to become a better comedian.
RON WHITE

Become Better Comedian Goal Just
I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
RON WHITE

Always Best Done Happen Little One Pony Stuff Trick
Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
RON WHITE

Achieve Any Back Come Earn Haunt Someone Time
I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
RON WHITE

Mic Milker More Night Open
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
RON WHITE

Daily Friendly Gay Judgement Life Lot Love Men Practise Stuff
I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
RON WHITE

Belief Drag Fan Little On Only Principle Road Will
I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
RON WHITE

Else Fun Life Recommend Sure Very
But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
RON WHITE

Exercise Exposure Harder Like More Much Muscle Work Writer
I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
RON WHITE

Family Include Know Onstage People Think Written
I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
RON WHITE

Continuity Figure Joke Little Older Show Story Time
I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
RON WHITE

Call Direct Go Movie New Only People Role Wrote
The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
RON WHITE

Comedy Live Only Part Sharp Show Stay Time Way
My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
RON WHITE

Between Brain Colander Cross Leak Slow
My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
RON WHITE

Band Brother Chill Favourite Hot People
Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
RON WHITE

Content Deliver Face Pace People Rhythm Time
That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
RON WHITE

Beauty Being Help Media Radar Really Star Stay Straight Under
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
RON WHITE

Bad Believe Better Bowl Game Halftime Show Socer Super
I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
RON WHITE

Born Day Eye Great Horse Life Mother Nice Wrong
I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
RON WHITE

Hard Laugh Love Make People Serious Stage Still Take Walk Work
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
RON WHITE

Believe Collaborative Creative Everything Somewhat
I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
RON WHITE

Always Comedian Popular Want
I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
RON WHITE

Bring Friend Gather Hopefully Laugh New Soldier Spirit
Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
RON WHITE

Call Country Day Kinds Know Like Mean Other Reprobate Somebody Way
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
RON WHITE

Back Country Dad Drive Old Range Take Twelve Year

A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.

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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.

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Popular Authors

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