Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNSI’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
More George Burns Quotes
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS