This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNSFirst you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
More George Burns Quotes
-
-
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS -
At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS -
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS -
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS