“Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”

You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

At my age flowers scare me.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

How can I die? I’m booked.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Mostly, I think people are fake. Well, what do you expect? The fake world we live in conspires to make us all fakes.

One of the hardest things in the world is to perform on record and get someone to enjoy and feel what you’re doing. It’s unlike, like TV you can, you can fake it with the face and the crying and the bits. Recording is completely different.

I don’t like horror, which is ridiculous because I’ve been in three horror movies, but when I see those things, I see camera tricks and fake blood and actors screaming and I don’t know understand why other actors don’t see that.

Don’t let the ‘business’ change what it is you love because the people, the fans, respond to what is heartfelt. They can always tell when a singer is faking it.

A man nearly always loves for other reasons than he thinks. A lover is apt to be as full of secrets from himself as is the object of his love from him.

There is so much falsehood both at home and at school. At home one must not speak, and at school we have to stand and tell lies to the children.

You can forge anything these days, and we’re living in a fake news era.

Just be truthful – and if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.