If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNSIf you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
More George Burns Quotes
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS -
How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS -
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS -
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS -
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS -
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS -
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS -
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS