I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
RON WHITEYou can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
More Ron White Quotes
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
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People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
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I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
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