You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
RON WHITEIf you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
More Ron White Quotes
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
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But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
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I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
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I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
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Comedy is all about the pause.
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