If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
RON WHITEI don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
More Ron White Quotes
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The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
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It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
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We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
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As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
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I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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