Everybody I know is a joke writer.
RON WHITETV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
More Ron White Quotes
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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Comedy is all about the pause.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
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The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
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