My goal is just to become a better comedian.
RON WHITEI could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
More Ron White Quotes
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But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
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I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
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The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
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That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
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I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
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I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
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My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
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Comedy is all about the pause.
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