The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
RON WHITEPeople, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.
More Ron White Quotes
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
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The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
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Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
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It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
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I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
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My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
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Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
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The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
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If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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