I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
RON WHITEIt never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
More Ron White Quotes
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If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
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I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
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You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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