Everybody I know is a joke writer.
RON WHITEMy shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
More Ron White Quotes
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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I go through about 140 cities a year.
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I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
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Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
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I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
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The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
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If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
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If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE