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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.

Ron White

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
RON WHITE

Abolish Death Express Lane Mine Other Penalty Put State
As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.
RON WHITE

Comedy Create Engage Everybody Help Home Just Long More Stuff
There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
RON WHITE

Angel Attack Comedy Concert Idea Leave Punch Some
I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
RON WHITE

Ask Band Guy Monkey Rock Understand Venue
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
RON WHITE

Channel Country Different Get People Place Think Trouble
I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
RON WHITE

Call Direct Go Movie New Only People Role Wrote
We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
RON WHITE

After Always Go Live Look Music Out Show
The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
RON WHITE

Answer Fan Only Really Show Stand Think
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
RON WHITE

Bad Believe Better Bowl Game Halftime Show Socer Super
My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITE

Act Always Big Crowd Do Easy Open Strong To
I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE

Chill Critical Keep Product Spaghetti
There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITE

Class Forever Go Pill Stupid Take
I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
RON WHITE

Country Start Drop Education Reason Surplus Think
My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
RON WHITE

Band Brother Chill Favourite Hot People
I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
RON WHITE

Advertise Before Club Comedy Go Rumour Sell Start Theater
If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.
RON WHITE

Club Comedy Devote Doing Guest Mic Open Stuff Theatre Try
Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
RON WHITE

Come Face Happen Let Lot Material More Road Stuff
I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
RON WHITE

Family Include Know Onstage People Think Written
My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
RON WHITE

All Be Can Show Way
It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
RON WHITE

Become Comedy Dirt Drawn Little Northwest Option Street Tear Town
I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
RON WHITE

Continuity Figure Joke Little Older Show Story Time
I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
RON WHITE

Act Anything Bothe R Desperate Joke Material Offend Work Write
The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
RON WHITE

Age Ame Bulk Fan Hear Relevant Say
My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
RON WHITE

Behaviour Derive Enough Life Many Need Out Probably Problem Story Wild Year
The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
RON WHITE

Comedy Live Only Part Sharp Show Stay Time Way
I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
RON WHITE

Blue Collar Crew Everybody Knew Least Order Pack Popular
Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
RON WHITE

Content Deliver Face Pace People Rhythm Time

I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.

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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.

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Popular Authors

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