I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
RON WHITEA lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
More Ron White Quotes
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
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As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
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I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
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I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
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The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
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