Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.

RON WHITE

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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.

Ron White

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Bagwalas

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

RON WHITE

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITE

Actual Beer Diet Drink Fat Real Scotch Tequila Year
Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.

RON WHITE

Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
RON WHITE

Achieve Any Back Someone
I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.

RON WHITE

I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
RON WHITE

Central Enjoy
I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
RON WHITE

Plumber Rather Would
I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.

RON WHITE

I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
RON WHITE

Found Closer More Really Respond Stage
Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.

RON WHITE

Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
RON WHITE

Day Doing Eighteen Fifteen Hour Thing
I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.

RON WHITE

I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
RON WHITE

Been Down Fine One Ladder
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.

RON WHITE

I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
RON WHITE

Daily Friendly Gay Lot Practise Stuff
I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’

RON WHITE

I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
RON WHITE

Daughter Hold Left Limb Month Though
I always wanted to be a popular comedian.

RON WHITE

I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
RON WHITE

Comedian Popular
I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.

RON WHITE

I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
RON WHITE

Anything Bothe R Material Offend Write
There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.

RON WHITE

There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
RON WHITE

Been Century Comic More Other Quater
People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.

RON WHITE

People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
RON WHITE

Alcoholic Drink Say Workaholic
My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.

RON WHITE

My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITE

Big Crowd Do Easy To
My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.

RON WHITE

My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
RON WHITE

Beem Ever More Storytelling
There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.

RON WHITE

There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
RON WHITE

Concert Idea Leave Punch Some

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